#halseycrew2021- A gift I didn't even think I wanted.

The 2020-2021 school year started as anything but typical.  Different students were at school on different days, I was managing interventions on modified schedules, I was checking temperatures and enforcing mask policies, and generally just doing whatever I could at school to help the year feel "normal" - for students and for staff.  

Sometime in October we realized that our 2/3 students were heading back 4 days per week and would be followed by 4/5 on November 30.  The hard realization also came that we had too many 5th graders to go into 2 classes with social distancing still in place.  The bottom line was that I needed to teach 5th grade. 

And I didn't want to.  I REALLY didn't want to.  

I love my AF job.  I love working with teachers and students and tutors and administration to help all of our learners learn and grow and get what they need.  I huffed and puffed and complained that I wasn't ready to take on a new core curriculum halfway through a year.  

But, I did it.  I embraced it and went head-first into painting and planning and researching and learning and organizing and praying.  Oh, and still some complaining. 

I loved my job.  I didn't WANT a new job.  I felt value and contentment and peace with my current job.  Unfortunately, that didn't really matter in this circumstance.

On November 30 eighteen kiddos walked into my classroom and none of us will ever be the same.  We clicked.  We just fit together.  I've had lots of really great classes and lots of really amazing students.  This group though?  It was like we were just always meant to be together.  

I could go on forever about the laughs we've shared and the fun we've had and the things we've learned and the books we've read.  I could tell you about their gasps when they realized how 2 characters were connected in Ground Zero.  I could tell you about how they begged to read "just one more chapter" about Serafina and her adventures.  I could tell you about the student who took 2 weeks to finish an 8 question Mastery Connect and how I almost jumped out of my seat in joy when that 8/8 100% score popped up.  I could tell you lots about their compassion from students with special needs.  Instead, I just want to remember how we were a family.  We were always meant to be, and I'm so thankful that in spite of my apprehension, I embraced it from Day 1.  I hung birthday balloons from every single one of their desks.  We invited visitors from the Central Office and via Zoom.  We added three more to our #halseycrew between December and April, and it was just like missing pieces that fit right with us.  

I know which of them only wants vanilla milk with lunch.  I know who has nightmares and who goes to bed too late.  I know their favorite candy bars, favorite colors, and favorite shows.  I know who gets easily embarrassed and who loves attention 24/7.  I know what makes them smile and what makes them worry.  I know which ones can add fractions with unlike denominators and which ones can multiply decimals.  I also know which ones can't.  I know who wants a hug at the end of the day and who doesn't really want to go home at all.    I know who dreams of being in the NBA and who dreams of being a YouTube star.  I know who is nervous about making new friends.  I know who gets sick from eating ice cream (but begs to eat it anyway).  I know what they want to be and what they want to do, but I also know who they are now and what makes them special.  I know who loves to write and who thinks their writing is terrible.  I know their favorite books and how to trick them into reading a new series they never considered before.  I know who only wants cheese pizza and who hates their beans to mix with other food.  I know which stickers they prefer and who would choose a vanilla cupcake over chocolate.  I also know which kid would choose fruit over a doughnut.  And I definitely know their CFA sauce preference.    

They know me, too.  They know I will cry at the ending of most books, sad or otherwise.  They also know I will choke out the last words of my EOG script while fighting back tears because I’m so darn proud of them.  They know that I will be on a Friday Google Meet with no makeup on but always ready to meet their pets via the screen.  I now know most of those pets by name.  They know I will forget to do lunch count at least once a week.  They know they can be honest with me and that I will hold them accountable, but still love them.  They know that they were my world this year and that saying goodbye to them was gut-wrenching to me.  Most of all, they know that I love them fiercely and that I will always be in their corner.  

I will never forget the look on one of my sweet guy's face today when I peaked in while he was doing some remediation.  His eyes lit up and he immediately came over to give me a hug.  I saw another one of my guys in the hall (he had missed the last day of school) and he came literally running with a hug.  Those moments don't happen every day and with every student.  I can guarantee you that anytime I see these kids, whether it be in the hallway next year or in the aisle of Food Lion or at their high school graduation, I will always feel the urge to run to them with open arms.  They are forever mine.  

Looking back I can't believe I ever didn't want this.  I had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side of Room 609 and that class list I got with shaking hands in November.  I am the luckiest teacher in the world to have spent my days with them.  I don't know what next year or the next 10 years hold, but I know that 2020-2021 will forever be etched in my heart.  I am so, so thankful.  I know I'll eventually stop crying.  But for now I know that these tears are a gift because I got to love these kids so much.